This girl is more easily done than said...
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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