I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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