Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
