There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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