tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
