I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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