A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize