wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
