she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
