Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
