Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
