i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
