We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
