I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
