This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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