I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
