is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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