Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
