Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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