On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
