I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
