wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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