i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
