census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize