He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just had sex bonerless
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
