why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
