Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
