Just fell off a train. Bad.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
