how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
