Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
