Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
