Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
