I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
