I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
