You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
