My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
