i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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