pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize