its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
