I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
