My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
