she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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