So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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