You can't special order awesome
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
