Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
