K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We got so high we made milksteak
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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