I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
