yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
