I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
3 2 1 whiskey
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
