I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
