I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
