I feel like abortions should bother me more
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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