we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
