its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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