There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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