absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
