ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
