Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
