Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
